In some ways I'm outgoing. I like going out for drama club and clubs like that. I do play sports, but I'm not all that good at it. Which often results in me getting made fun of. At least I'm not a total klutz. I'm struggling with knowing I like guys. Afraid of how my father would take it. If they would look at me differently or not. Which has made me withdrawn, and not wanting to face things. Like coming out of the closet. I always feel like I'm being left out of things. So I guess that makes me paranoid.

[smear:#4f7899]Positive Traits:[/smear:#8f143e:0]
1)Nature-Focused: Preferring natural resources over artificial ones; being strongly attuned to nature.
2)Courageous: Possessing the mental or moral resilience to face opposition, danger, or difficulties despite one's fear.
3)Empathetic: Able to recognize and identify with the emotions of others.
4)Discreet: Intentionally unobtrusive; conducting oneself with care, sound judgment, and a respect for privacy.
5)Just: Having a strong sense of fairness.
6)Passionate: Being capable of or expressing deep feeling.

[smear:#8f143e]Negative Traits:[/smear:#4f7899:0]
1)Pessimistic: Inclined to focus on the negative and expect the worst possible outcome.
2)Perfectionist: Perceiving anything less than perfection as failure.
3)Withdrawn: Detached from others, having retreated inside oneself.
4)Nervous: Having an uneasiness of the mind or a brooding fear.
5)Stubborn: Unyielding or obstinate.
6)Defensive: Marked by the need to defy aggression or attack.

Rosewood is a surname of English origin, derived from the Old English words 'rhos' meaning 'rose' and 'wudu' meaning 'wood'. It was typically given to individuals who lived near a rose wood or a rose tree. This name is often associated with beauty and strength, reflecting the characteristics of the rose tree itself.

In 1903, my great, great, grandparents, Preston Rosewood and his wife Estelle, journeyed from England to the United States joining her brother and his family who had moved to Big Sky a couple of years before. Growing up his family had operated an Old Fashioned soda shop back in England. So he built his own soda shop here in Big Sky.

Nowadays my dad is the proprietor of the soda shop, and when I turned fourteen I was finally allowed to start working there part time. I suppose I should start at the beginning though. By the time I came around mom and dad had five girls. I was the first born boy, and I can imagine dad had been more than excited finally getting a boy. My name is Guthrie Lane Rosewood. To be honest though I don’t know if he was or not nobody has ever told me. After me came two more boys Mordecai and Gresham. It wouldn’t have been so bad I don’t think if my parents best friend Graham Montague hadn’t come back with two babies that had been dropped on his doorstep about a month after I was born.

Their names were Hudson and Zariya Montague. Hudson was born the same day that I was so we unfortunately share a birthday. Zariya is a couple of weeks or so younger than us. In the chaos that ensued after that I was often forgotten. Which only got worse when I got older. Hudson was better than I at anything and everything. When we were two Graham got a movie deal so he headed back to Hollywood leaving the twins with my parents. It was too big of a rat race, was the story for him to take the twins with him to Hollywood.

Hudson grew faster than me and I was always the smallest one in the class. When we got our mini bikes when we turned four of course I was the one to lay mine over right away. When dad pulled the bike up off of me I ran away with tears threatening hearing the laughter from a lot of the other kids. I was a bit bruised up, but that I could handle, it was the laughter at my expense that hurt.

I shied away from dad after that especially when I saw how happy he was teaching Hudson and Zariya. Uncle Thorn was the one who took up teaching me alongside his twins Draco and Orion. Dad did try to help me but Hudson or Zariya were always pulling him away. I was behind the other kids my age still being smaller when they moved up to dirt bikes. No matter what I did I seemed to fall farther and farther behind.

When we started grade school when I would make friends somehow they’d get swayed over to Hudson and Zariya becoming friends with them instead of me. Sure I still had Draco and Orion, but it was always them two together. Close as twins could be, and I felt like a third wheel. So I stuck to myself reading and riding when I could. I was seven before I graduated to a dirt bike. Dad was frustrated when I didn’t take right to it though. I had difficulties with it. My younger brother Mordecai was having no problems at all and eating up the dirt track on his dirt bike. It just wasn’t fair.

Even when I did get the hang of it and started riding in Motocross I was way behind those my age. Usually at the back of the pack too, and I would get teased about it. Dad would just shake his head at me. Then he’d go congratulate Hudson on another win and Zariya when she’d win her heat. After a while I just gave up trying.

Hitting junior high I tried out for sports, but I was average in everything. I did play baseball during the summers growing up, but I usually struck out, and dropped the ball when I caught it. I wasn’t the golden boy like Hudson was that dad was always cheering on. Even in junior high he was getting to play shining out on that field, and I was stuck on the bench. If I did get to play if the score got high enough I usually ended up doing something stupid. Which got me harassed again and again.

I also started realizing that I liked boys instead of girls. Not that I was ever going to act on it either. Dad would totally disown me. Not like I didn’t feel like he already had. When I turned fourteen I got to start working in the soda shop. Something I had been looking forward to. But after breaking a tub or two of dishes and messing up orders I was stuck just washing dishes. Not even getting to work with dad at all. Hudson got that pleasure of course.

In seventh grade I had tried out for the play, and it felt right. I think mom was the only one who came to watch me act though. I never did see dad there. By the time I was in high school I was getting better in plays, and loved it. I was in choir and had a great voice, I was told. So in some ways things were good.

Somehow Hudson figured it out that I liked boys, and I had no idea how he had figured it out. I thought I had kept it more than a secret. Course if I saw a cute boy I did look. Now he’s holding it over me. Thinking he’s still better than me, and laughing about it. Growing up together like we did in the same house you would think we would have become great friends. But no, there was something about Hudson that just grated at me. It was probably because his dad was this big hotshot movie star, and he got lots of friends because of that.

My freshman year this Senior boy I noticed that was hot asked me out. I was apprehensive, but I went out with him. The first date even though he was being secretive about it and keeping us hidden away from others. Almost like he was ashamed of asking me out. Still though it wasn’t bad, and I kept going out with him. He became controlling of me that I really had no choice, but to do what he told me to. He was threatening to tell my father that I was gay. Mickey Summers is his name. I was like a puppet in his hands. Used and abused by him, and I kept it hidden from everyone. I realized I wasn’t the only younger boy that he was messing with, and controlling.

I had given up on all sports by the time I became a sophomore. There wasn’t any use when all I did was ride the bench. I had gotten better at riding though and had won a few races, but I didn’t have a room full of trophies and ribbons as well as medals like Hudson. Oh and Graham is back after his six movie deal or whatever it is. Says he’s hanging up his hat.

Our sixteenth birthday came and of course the spotlight was totally on Hudson as usual. It’s as if everyone including my parents forgot my birthday. Dad went with Graham, Hudson and Zariya, getting them Harley’s. I was never asked to go. Here I had been getting a bit excited about it thinking Dad would take me to get my first Harley, but no. I was forgotten yet again.

Here it’s two months later, and school has started. Still no Harley, and of course I never said anything about them just forgetting my birthday. I became even more sullen and withdrawn, and quit going to work at the Soda Shop. I don’t think dad even noticed. I was at a breaking point, and didn’t know how much more I could take.

I packed a bag and left the house with nobody noticing. I rode my dirt bike out to my Uncle Thorn’s asking him if I could stay there. When he asked why I bit back the tears, I refused to tell him. He said I could stay, but I knew he’d be on the phone to my parents wanting to know what was going on. Or he’d be heading over to talk to them. I was surprised when I didn’t hear anything from my parents.

Come to find out he hadn’t called or told them anything. I heard my cousin Tabby talking to her brothers Zack and Teddy that their dad, Uncle Thorn, was seeing how long it took for them to notice that I was gone. I heard her telling them that Uncle Thorn had gotten Draco and Orion to open about some of what was going on with me. Course they didn’t know everything, but they knew some. Then I heard her say that my parents did know I was here that my mom had called Thorn. That made me feel even worse thinking they didn’t want me back at all, and were just leaving me here without even talking.